Once upon a time you were a little girl who knew her worth couldn’t be measured; a little girl who believed in herself and her dreams, which were big dreams, and that little girl knew she could do anything and that her dreams would come true.
Until they came along and told you that you weren't all that, that you weren't worthy, and that they knew better than you did. They told you it wasn’t ok to do this or that, that it wasn't ladylike, or feminine, or appropriate for someone like you. And you believed them because you believed they knew best. And you were taught to be a good little girl so that is what a good little girl should do.
Until one day your own feelings of worth and your beliefs in yourself and what you deserve got so stuffed down inside you that you no longer believed you could follow your dreams and become whatever you wanted to. And you began to doubt yourself and believe instead that you had to prove yourself worthy instead of remembering that you were worthy just because you are you.
And then you found yourself looking for a man to complete you so that you could finally prove to everyone that you really do have worth, that you really are special and deserving of someone who loves you.
He came along, your prince charming, full of promises of love and dreams, and you finally had the validation you'd been looking for. Until he broke those promises and left you devastated, questioning whether you really were still worthy and still deserving of all that love and life had once held for you.
But then another prince charming came along full of those same promises until he, too, eventually left you alone – again. And then another and another. It happened over and over again until you truly believed you were unworthy, that you really weren't anyone special and that you didn't deserve anything more than these crumbs left behind by the princes. You no longer believed in your dreams, in your worth, and settling for these crumbs became a part of your new vocabulary with pleasing and working so hard for love becoming your new mantras.
Until one day, someone told you something you've never heard before. That it's a lie. It’s all lies that you’ve been told. You’re not that. That’s not you. That’s what they wanted you to be and pigeon holed you into. But that was never you. It turns out you actually knew better; they didn’t. They didn’t know the truth even though you were so sure they must know more than you.
But no more. That light’s coming through. A little bit more now. You’re starting to get it. It wasn’t about you; in fact it never was – it was about what they wanted you to be. They wanted a little girl who was sweet and ladylike and feminine and didn’t rock the boat, didn't put up a fuss, didn't make work for them. A little girl who took care of everybody emotionally, agreed with everyone, kept everything harmonious, made everything happy, kept things predictable, and made everyone feel good.
You know exactly what I mean because it happened to most of us. But’s it’s a lie. All of it. We’ve bought into it because they were supposed to know better. And when we pleased them and lived our lives like this they loved us so. And that felt so good. To be loved like that. So we lived like that to be loved like that and here we are; doing it all over again. And again and again and again.
But they’re not calling the shots anymore. They’re not in control of that little girl that's still inside you anymore. You can do whatever it is you want to do. You can become whatever you want to become. You can follow your dreams whatever those dreams might look like. You can do and be whatever you want to do and be. Because the very worst thing that can happen is that it doesn't work out the first time you try (which it never does) and you try again, armed with a little more knowledge. You'll figure out what to do next because it's in the trying, in the living, that you find out what you can really do.
If you don't, you'll never know what might have been.
You see, all of this search, this whole quest for the perfect guy, the guy who will complete us, is really about our search for ourselves. If we can just first find ourselves, he’ll be there waiting for us, because he’s been looking for us too. But we’ll never see that if we’re only looking for a guy to make us feel OK, to complete us, to make everything all right so we don’t have to make that journey ourselves.
So it’s time, long overdue, to get out there, and start living. Really living your life the way you want it to be. Not this waiting kind of living where we live with only a little passion for ourselves, saving it all up for the guy we think is going to do it for us. Start living the way you were born to live. Claim your birthright for yourself. Start listening to that little girl inside you whose goals and dreams got squashed down so very long ago. Start listening to her and start seeing what she can really do.
Because you are more than worthy - you are special and beautiful and you deserve nothing less than all that life and love have to offer you.