How NOT to Meet Mr. Right. (Part 1)


This is the story of Mike, the fire fighter.  And me.  And our relationship.  Now we all know there’s just something about a firefighter, right?  The big strong hero, who lives to save people, and is coming to save us too.  They’re special.  And if they like us, then we’re really special.  We’ve really been chosen.  Or so we think.  Or so I thought.  After all, it was the beach.  Where better for fate to bring himand me together.  Sand, surf, sun and all of the endless romantic possibilities they represent.  And there I was, walking along the path when I dropped my sunglasses.  And there he was, picking up my sunglasses.  Just a typical, insignificant moment, except for me, who believed that if fate was going to bring me my Prince Charming in some dramatic fashion, this would be exactly the way it would happen!  And so I looked up into the face of a tanned, good-looking, strong featured guy who looked like something straight out of this year’s Fire Fighter calendar.  My guy!  It must be him!  I dropped my sunglasses and he picked them up and we looked into each other’s eyes so this must be fate’s way of bringing us together!  (Yes, I was really that excited).  It was straight out of the cliché romance novel/hallmark made-for-tv movie, so it had to be real!

We talked, we went to dinner, we danced, oh it was good, and then I found out he was from out of town, just visiting the area with his friends.  But that was ok.  It was fate, he was it, and this would work.  So we made plans to get together the following month when he would be in the same area again, that was it, I was hooked.  He was the One.  I was excited.  And he was a fire fighter!

He even flew down to see me!  He was choosing me!  It was so wonderful, just like a dream.

But then I didn’t hear from him again for a long time.  And I didn’t call him because I didn’t want to appear desperate.  Nope.  No desperate here – because that’s not part of being the chosen one.  I couldn’t let him know I was looking for a relationship, waiting anxiously for him to call me.  No, that wouldn’t be part of the being chosen package.

And then finally he did.  He called.  When I was on vacation, my cell phone rang.   He wanted me to join his family at their cabin the next weekend!  This was it!  My playing hard to get and not desperate had paid off!  He was ready to introduce me to his family!  He’d come around. Or so I thought (did I say that before?).  But did I mention I was already on vacation?  There was no way I was going to get more time off the following week.  So I did what any girl who wanted to believe she wasn’t desperate but actually was would do – I told him I’d love to join him and his family, and I came up with a really elaborate story to tell my boss.  Read: I told a big lie to come up with missing a whole week of work when I had just taken off two weeks.  For a guy.  It was a doozy – I was going to be going to the hospital for minor surgery.  Some kind of extremely sensitive, extremely personal yet very vague surgery thing.  The kind no male boss would ever consider questioning.

So there I was, with my new guy’s family, on my second vacation.  And oh how I fit in - oh how they all loved me!  One great week and I was sure that I was in - I was showing him just how perfect I was for him.  A perfect fit for his family.  Perfect girlfriend material.  Because aren’t we great at getting everyone close to the guy to love us?  Except the guy.  Except the one who matters, but who isn’t really ready for that kind of commitment, or just isn’t the right one for us.  And that was him.  This guy was the same as the rest - a perfectly good guy who wasn’t the right guy for me.

So that was the last I heard from him.  Really.  After spending a week with his family, thinking everything was great, I never heard from him again.  And of course I didn’t call him.  I didn’t want to seem desperate, remember?  I did break down and call him once a few months later, only to get an automatic message on his cell phone saying the number didn’t accept incoming calls.  I even considered keeping in touch with his family.  Really.  I mean, it was a great week I had with them.

So I don’t know what happened there, but that was my fire fighter guy Mike.  I have no idea what to call that relationship, if you can even call it a relationship, but that’s how it went down.

Next Post:  Part 2 - Lessons Learned

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