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How Your Fantasy Is The Biggest Deception Of All!

A woman is about to kiss a man that is her romantic fantasy.
The fantasy may be keeping you from real love.

You're stumped.

You've tried everything.

You know who you are. You know what you want. You know what you don't.

You're going out to all the right places. You're doing all the right things.

You're following all my very best advice.

"What am I missing?!!"  It's the one question I hear so often.

You can't figure it out, no matter how hard you try. But somewhere, underneath everything you can see and touch and feel, it's there.

What is it?Continue Reading

Getting Over "The One"

A beautiful woman is frazzled because she can't seem to get over a breakup.
It's been FOUR months and I still cry about him almost daily.

One of our beautiful readers, Kat, was in a wonderful long term relationship with a great guy, only to have it all fall apart as soon as she told him she was ready to take things to the next level - sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I am a big fan of your website and read your posts regularly. I am trying to follow your advice and move on from a man I thought was "the one", but I am having a very hard time.

We were introduced by a mutual friend. Initially I thought he was nice, but I wasn't really interested.

I went out on a couple dates with him and didn't feel much of a spark.Continue Reading

But I Don't Want to HAVE to!

A beautiful woman sits across from a man during a date that she doesn't want to be on.
Ugh! Why do I have to do this?

I hear these words from so many of you.

"But I don't want to have to!"

Whether you're talking about meeting new men, going to singles events, signing up for online dating, going to new places, finding your passions, following your interests, your response is so often the same.

We want it the easy way.

The way that said he was The One and your search was over.

The way that said that you didn't have to put yourself out there – again.

The way that had you imaging your future together and it felt so good!

The way that finally gave you the answer to address all those questions of "why are you still single?"

Why couldn't it be the easy way?Continue Reading

I Just Want It To Be the Way It Was

A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
I put myself out there everyday, only to feel rejected afterwards.

One of our beautiful, sweet readers, who has asked to remain anonymous, has been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend of a year and a half, and has gone through quite a roller-coaster of difficulties, including cheating.

I've chosen to call her Plumeria, after the beautiful and fragrant flowers that are used to make Hawaiian leis.

Here's her email:


My relationship with my boyfriend has been going on for about a year and a half.

We started dating after I got out of a two year relationship the same time that he did, and we kind of gave each other moral support.  He was always someone I was attracted to, and I had admired his relationship, and I think I was the same for him.Continue Reading

So Where Is He?

A man stands on the edge of a pond looking at the city in the distance.
But still he eluded me.

Where is this illusive soul? Where does he hide? Where does he spend his time?

What places call to him, and who are the people he spends his time with?

I know this is what you're really asking.

Where is he? And where do I find him?

If there was one question I asked myself a thousand times, it was this one. There was no one who understood just how elusive he could be more than me.Continue Reading

What Should I Do? He Says He Wants to Slow Things Down

A woman is holding her head, exasperated, wondering why he wants to slow things down.
Things were going so well, but now he wants to slow things down!

One of our beautiful readers, who has asked to remain anonymous, is in a new relationship where the sparks were flying. After they were intimate, he has said that he wants to slow things down, and now she doesn't know what to do.

I've chosen to call her "Daisy", because she reminds me of all the beautiful spring flowers blooming right now, finding out just how beautiful – and how worthy – they truly are.

Naturally. In their own time.

Here's her email:


I am very confused and don't know what to do.

I met someone and we hit it off right away. We talk on the phone every day, go to dinner when we get the chance (we live far from each other so don't get to go on dates as much as we would like) and have a strong connection.

After about a month he invited me over his home to spend the night. He told me he wants to be with me and that he really likes me.

We ended up sleeping together.Continue Reading

Why You're Never EVER Meant to Give Up Hope

A beautiful woman looks at the sky with a rainbow in the distance symbolizing hope.
You're not meant to let go of the hope!

I'm beginning to think no one's ever seen you.

Not for who you really are. Not for all you have to offer.

You've never let the ones who can see you have the chance to see you.

That's what this is really about.

You have no idea.

Really, you don't.

These ones who give you only a fleeting glimpse of yourself, are the same ones that are never capable of being anything more than what works for them. And that's why it's so brief.

Just long enough to give you a taste, and then it's gone.

It's no wonder you're consumed with how to get it back.Continue Reading

After 2 Months He Suddenly Changed

A beautiful woman sits on the couch with her boyfriend unhappily because she feels he has changed.
He's basically nothing like the boyfriend I was first with!

One of our beautiful readers, Beatrice, finds herself in the all-too-common scenario of starting off in a relationship that's nothing but wonderful, only to have him slowly change, and not for the better. She's wondering if it's something she did.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I am an exceptionally sensitive, confused soul right now. And my heart is breaking without any "real" proof that it needs to break, if that makes sense.

Here's my story:

I'm 23, and a very inexperienced dater.Continue Reading