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No commitment? Here's the One Thing You CAN Change About Yourself that WILL Change Him

Silhouette of a woman and man watching the sunset over the ocean.
Change just this one thing, and watch it change everything!

You've tried everything up until now. And nothing seems to be working.

He's feeling pressured, so you back off. He's saying he's confused, so you try to help him sort through his confusion.

You give him more space – on the surface, but in your mind, there's no space between you. He's always on your mind. His last words are always on your heart. Never far away. Always ready to do something, to show him how much he should want to be with you. To try to convince him why the two of you could be the best thing ever.

But there's something you've missed here. It has nothing to do with him, but everything to do with you.Continue Reading

How Do I Avoid Falling Into the Friend Zone?

A beautiful woman walks in the city with a guy that is keeping her in the friend zone.
I want a real relationship with a guy who wants one, too!

One of our beautiful readers, Audrey, has lots of guys that seem to show interest in her, but many of them seem to just want to be friends.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am so thankful I have discovered your website. I feel more valuable just after reading a few of your posts and watching your first video.

I would LOVE your advice on how to stay out of the "friend zone."

Of course there are a ton of articles and posts out there, but I would love your advice in particular.

What should a girl do when a guy is showing interest in her via one-on-one time together and lots of texting, but is keeping her in the friend zone so that he can enjoy her companionship with "no strings attached"?Continue Reading

The Strength / Weakness Deception

A whiteboard with a hand writing strength and weakness, crossing out weakness.
What if you’re the strong one for giving love a chance?

You’re calling him strong, and yourself weak.

You’re looking at him as being so strong that he can walk away as easily as he does, and then yourself as weak for not being able to do the same. You think he’s strong. You think of yourself as weak.

Because you need him. And he doesn’t need you.

So you equate that with your being the needy one, the weak one who needs someone.

And the ones who don’t need anyone, you call them strong.Continue Reading

He Says He Loves Me, But He's Acting So Emotionally Distant

A beautiful woman is hugging her boyfriend, wondering why he's getting emotionally distant.
Is it because he doesn't want me or because I'm not able to see what he needs?

One of our beautiful readers, Linda, has a boyfriend whose studies will be separating them soon, and he's beginning to get emotionally distant.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane!

Hope you can help me, because I do feel confused...

I'm in a relationship with this guy since March. I met him for the first time when I was 15 (now I'm 18) because we went out with the same group of friends. We've always been sort of attracted to each other but we actually started texting/talking in December...

Then in March we got together. It all started very well...He was so lovely and treated me like a princess... But I've always felt like he was not totally open with me... I talked a lot, he listened to me and showed he wanted to understand me for real even though I am pretty complicated as he says... He seems to know me better than I do sometimes...

He says to me a lot of beautiful things... So beautiful sometimes I feel like crying because I think to myself I am really bloody lucky to have him...

The problem is, that he will be leaving for University at the end of August and his studies will last more or less 10 years!!!!Continue Reading

The Difference Between Your Fantasy and His Reality

A magical book is open on the table signifying an epic love story that we all want.
We all want the epic love story, but is it real?

We love a good story. Especially a good love story.

We want a love that conquers all. And a dream that, against all odds, still comes true.

We want the sparks. The fireworks.

We want an underdog to triumph. And what we perceive as good versus evil to win.

And more than anything else, we want the happy ending.

We’re not just talking about a story. We’re talking about our story.

Our lives. Continue Reading

Stuck in the Pretense of a Relationship

A beautiful woman sits on a bench upset, wondering if she ruined her relationship.
What if I ruined things by leaving?

Our beautiful friend, Metta, is wondering if she may have ruined things with the man she's dating by letting him know that she wants an exclusive relationship with him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been reading several of your articles on dating someone who isn't wanting to commit and find them really helpful. I appreciate you sharing your gifts and insights. Hopefully you have the chance to read through this all as I would love to hear from you!!

I have been in an undefinable relationship with someone for close to a year now. He said early on that he just wants to be friends because of our age difference (he's 15 years older). However, we've continued to see each other and act as if we're dating.Continue Reading

Becoming Unlost

A beautiful woman is walking on the beach trying to become unlost.
You never thought you’d feel this lost.


When it’s over. When the reality that this new place is worse than you thought it would be. When you long for the old reality that at least you knew.

How else to describe it except for one word … Lost

No matter whether you were prepared or not, can you ever really be prepared?Continue Reading

Is There a Chance He'll Want to Become Serious After Awhile And "Come Back"?

Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
Is there a chance, or am I just wasting my time?

Our beautiful friend, Eve, is dating a guy that has told her he doesn't want a commitment, and she's wondering what to do next.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

First and for all, thank you for all the good advice and real life stories. I have learned a lot from them.

My story is similar to some I already read, although I feel there is a nuance which makes me still doubt my situation.

The end of March, I met a guy through mutual interests (we were both playing Music at the same event) and after adding me on facebook, we quickly started chatting and he asked me on a date in the same week.

The date was incredible; he was thoughtful, funny, humble, intelligent and very handsome. He kissed me during the date and after a little while, asked if he could come back home with me. I wasn't planning on doing that, but for some reason, I went along with it.Continue Reading